In last week’s Resilience Guide newsletter I wrote about time management and gave subscribers a tool to help you start assessing where your time is spent. The topic was chosen because it was one of the most requested in our recent survey. (The tool was exclusive to subscribers – sign up to newsletters if you don’t want to miss any others!)
This week’s topic is the other most requested issue – Confidence.
Without asking each respondent individually, I assume this meant that people are feeling fear and want to overcome it because it stops them achieving what they want.
The most powerful tip I can give you is this:
Fear is a sign you are doing the right thing.
Think about what causes your fear. Whether it’s approaching a boss to request a pay rise, or launching a new business or putting a video out on social media about your new service, there is a chance that it will make things better for you.
Your brain is flagging danger because it wants to protect you, but it doesn’t see the vision of the better future and the part of your brain that triggers it is unable to reassure itself. You need to use your conscious brain to realise there is no life or death danger here, reassure your fight or flight response and keep moving forward.
In reality, what’s the worst that could happen? You don’t get what you want? Not exactly the ‘danger’ your brain flagged. What else could happen? Others might judge you? Maybe – but if they do that shows you they aren’t your business customers or your preferred ‘tribe’. Psychologists often attribute ‘judgement’ to secret envy. So give them more to be envious about!
When you push out of your comfort zone fear is almost inevitable. So fear is actually confirmation that you are on the right path and going in the right direction. When you push through it, you will reach the other side – a rich lush pasture called ‘growth’. That growth is personal, professional or business – and often all three! And here’s the best bit – confidence lives here in abundance.
I have started to acknowledge fear instead of trying to overcome it. I have started taking it as a good sign, and learning to live with it, really ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’.
Then I take it a little further (because my fears are quite loud!). I force myself to re-label the fear as ‘excitement’. The physiology is similar; heart pounding, quick breathing and sweaty palms. If you enjoy rollercoasters you’ll recognise these symptoms. Now explain how fear is different?!
Try it out, and do it soon! I’d love to hear if it makes a difference for you.
Until next week, take care,