Switching ‘Set Mind’ to +Mindset

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

Do you find it difficult sometimes to maintain a positive mindset? Does it seem a bit fluffy, as if it’s something lucky people have, because – well, why wouldn’t they have a positive mindset?!  Everything is going well for them! Aside from the undeniable research in neuroscience about the universal benefits of maintaining a calm and positive outlook more often than we are inclined to, it’s a journey we each must take alone.  But it’s a journey each of us is more than capable of, if we Set our Mind to it. The fact is, no-one else can change our thoughts unless we allow them to. Yes, we are of course alive and breathing so we have instant and human reactions to what people say or situations we find ourselves in.  But those natural reactions only last a short time.  If we allow their narrative to embed in our mind, and if we re-enforce it by […]

‘Extra’ help

Posted Posted in Coaching, Parenting, Resilience

It’s commonly known that introverts regain their energy by being alone after a social activity.  They need quiet time to recharge.  Being with lots of people, in lots of noise, for long periods of time, makes them exhausted.  It’s not about being ‘unsociable’ – they are very sociable people – they just prefer it to be on a one-to-one basis! Extraverts, on the other hand, can’t get enough company and activity.  They need to be with a variety of groups regularly. Being on their own too much makes their mood sink low. This is why lockdown is a challenge in different ways for different people.  For introverts it’s more or less business as usual, or life as they think they would like it to be; except it might be too much isolation which is not good ultimately.  We all need the company of other humans, whether it’s in groups or […]

10 days into dream job, I quit

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

10 days after I started my dream job as a newly qualified midwife, I handed in my notice. I had dreamed of being a midwife for years.  Qualifying was a monumentally proud moment for me, not to mention the moments I was privileged to be see the arrival of many beautiful little humans (including 5 sets of twins) into the loving care of their parents. So why did I quit? At the time, I told myself it was a result of the distress of watching my patient, a 5 day old baby girl, have her ventilator switched off about a month earlier.  It was certainly a huge factor.  But knowing what I know now, I can see that there was a loud inner critic that I gave too much credibility to.  I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough. My irrational fear was made rational on the day before I […]

Unleash your Power at Interviews

Posted Posted in Business Coaching, Coaching, Resilience

Little did we know that ‘pivot’ would be one of the most used words of 2020.  Businesses have had to recalculate long-established income streams and revise processes overnight.  Employees have had to adjust their working practices.  All of us have had to completely rethink most elements of our lives: social, personal, working, financial, education, child-care, family gatherings, community events, sport, networking, travel and the work/life juggle. As businesses close and new opportunities emerge, I have no doubt workforce planners will look back at this time as being one of huge movement of people in the labour market. People who have never had to rethink their career or do job interviews are now faced with this challenge.  Pilots, educators, sales people, those in the hospitality industry and many others are now re-doing CVs and going through the arduous process of interviews. This week I gave a talk on Resilience to a […]

Conflict – did you bring your compass?

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

Is there anything more heart-sinking or gut-wrenching than being in a conflict situation or conversation?  Most of us would do anything to avoid it.  But it’s unavoidable at times.  That’s life.  People don’t always agree with us or what we have done. Sometimes we can sense an impending conflict before anyone has spoken a word because we know we have to say something that won’t be appreciated. Sometimes we ‘know’ the response we will get.  Occasionally our worst fears come true.  Other times we are pleasantly surprised when the other person reacts in a more reasonable manner than we expected. In my recent survey of subscribers to my weekly Resilience Guide newsletter, Conflict Management was the 3rd most requested topic.  It was tied with other topics, but in 3rd place nonetheless. When I am coaching someone who dreads it or avoids it (sometimes at greater cost to themselves than if […]

Credit (the good kind)

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

Every time I deliver a resilience training session I encourage an exploration of what resilience means to attendees.  I’m always amazed to hear new perspectives from every group. This week’s training session was no different.  Participants broke it down to different kinds of resilience including frontline staff who come home from a tough day and have to quickly turn around a few hours later and go back in to face more.  I was picturing an airplane being ‘turned around’ between flights and the pressure to do it quickly and get back in the air.  Except of course frontline staff have more to ‘turn around’. Another kind of resilience mentioned was financial resilience, for example when someone wealthy loses all their assets, but is able to build it back up again.  That’s an extreme example, but financial resilience is probably something we don’t credit ourselves enough with. A conversation I had […]

The joy of travel, while staying safe

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

The season is turning, for sure.  There has been a crispness in the air for the last few days.  Some brown leaves fell in front of me this week.  The swallows are preparing for their long journey ahead, stretching their muscles, swooping up and down and practising their chirping communications.  They will be gone in a few days. For many people the summer of 2020 has been difficult to bear because travel is more or less forbidden.  If you are feeling sad about this, the reason is that leisure travel is a pleasurable activity that releases dopamine in our brains – a feel-good hormone. However, there are ways of triggering a little wave of dopamine related to travel, and you don’t have to go far to do it. Look up at the sky. Look so high that your peripheral vision can no longer see your surroundings. Now focus on the […]

You KNOW you are on the right path when…

Posted Posted in Coaching, Resilience

In last week’s Resilience Guide newsletter I wrote about time management and gave subscribers a tool to help you start assessing where your time is spent.  The topic was chosen because it was one of the most requested in our recent survey.  (The tool was exclusive to subscribers – sign up to newsletters if you don’t want to miss any others!) This week’s topic is the other most requested issue – Confidence. Without asking each respondent individually, I assume this meant that people are feeling fear and want to overcome it because it stops them achieving what they want. The most powerful tip I can give you is this: Fear is a sign you are doing the right thing.  Think about what causes your fear.  Whether it’s approaching a boss to request a pay rise, or launching a new business or putting a video out on social media about your […]

When the wall seems too high

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

“Just when you think you’re on a roll…” “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…” “The Universe had different ideas…” These are all expressions that demonstrate how frequently we face challenges and obstacles in life. Sometimes the obstacles we face seem insurmountable. The wall seems too high. We can’t see over it or through it and it’s causing a hard stop in our journey. Here are a few things to consider about those walls: Two stacked bricks will seem like a wall when we are tired. ‘What we pay attention to expands’ – John Maxwell. Staring at the wall makes it bigger than it is. All the time we are staring at the wall, we are missing what’s going on elsewhere. Every wall ends. The Wall of China, the Berlin Wall, the wall on the Mexican-US border; every one of them has end points and ‘loopholes’ in […]

RSVP – Noooo! But what will I say?

Posted Posted in Coaching, Resilience

Everyone’s out and about again, but you’re not ready? You may be still worried about your own health or the health of someone close to you.  You may be conscious that the virus is still out there, albeit in smaller numbers for now. I believe everyone has the right to make their own risk assessment.  I also believe you don’t have to go into great personal detail to persuade others to come around to your way of thinking.  They don’t have to agree with you.  They just need to know what your decision is and respect it. It can be difficult to know what to say when you get that invitation to the big family gathering where everyone is expecting you to turn up as per-pre-Covid-usual. So, here’s what to do. Consider the implications of increased contact. Reflect on what YOU want, the risk you are willing to take and […]