10 days into dream job, I quit

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

10 days after I started my dream job as a newly qualified midwife, I handed in my notice. I had dreamed of being a midwife for years.  Qualifying was a monumentally proud moment for me, not to mention the moments I was privileged to be see the arrival of many beautiful little humans (including 5 sets of twins) into the loving care of their parents. So why did I quit? At the time, I told myself it was a result of the distress of watching my patient, a 5 day old baby girl, have her ventilator switched off about a month earlier.  It was certainly a huge factor.  But knowing what I know now, I can see that there was a loud inner critic that I gave too much credibility to.  I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough. My irrational fear was made rational on the day before I […]

Unleash your Power at Interviews

Posted Posted in Business Coaching, Coaching, Resilience

Little did we know that ‘pivot’ would be one of the most used words of 2020.  Businesses have had to recalculate long-established income streams and revise processes overnight.  Employees have had to adjust their working practices.  All of us have had to completely rethink most elements of our lives: social, personal, working, financial, education, child-care, family gatherings, community events, sport, networking, travel and the work/life juggle. As businesses close and new opportunities emerge, I have no doubt workforce planners will look back at this time as being one of huge movement of people in the labour market. People who have never had to rethink their career or do job interviews are now faced with this challenge.  Pilots, educators, sales people, those in the hospitality industry and many others are now re-doing CVs and going through the arduous process of interviews. This week I gave a talk on Resilience to a […]

Conflict – did you bring your compass?

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

Is there anything more heart-sinking or gut-wrenching than being in a conflict situation or conversation?  Most of us would do anything to avoid it.  But it’s unavoidable at times.  That’s life.  People don’t always agree with us or what we have done. Sometimes we can sense an impending conflict before anyone has spoken a word because we know we have to say something that won’t be appreciated. Sometimes we ‘know’ the response we will get.  Occasionally our worst fears come true.  Other times we are pleasantly surprised when the other person reacts in a more reasonable manner than we expected. In my recent survey of subscribers to my weekly Resilience Guide newsletter, Conflict Management was the 3rd most requested topic.  It was tied with other topics, but in 3rd place nonetheless. When I am coaching someone who dreads it or avoids it (sometimes at greater cost to themselves than if […]

Credit (the good kind)

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

Every time I deliver a resilience training session I encourage an exploration of what resilience means to attendees.  I’m always amazed to hear new perspectives from every group. This week’s training session was no different.  Participants broke it down to different kinds of resilience including frontline staff who come home from a tough day and have to quickly turn around a few hours later and go back in to face more.  I was picturing an airplane being ‘turned around’ between flights and the pressure to do it quickly and get back in the air.  Except of course frontline staff have more to ‘turn around’. Another kind of resilience mentioned was financial resilience, for example when someone wealthy loses all their assets, but is able to build it back up again.  That’s an extreme example, but financial resilience is probably something we don’t credit ourselves enough with. A conversation I had […]

The joy of travel, while staying safe

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

The season is turning, for sure.  There has been a crispness in the air for the last few days.  Some brown leaves fell in front of me this week.  The swallows are preparing for their long journey ahead, stretching their muscles, swooping up and down and practising their chirping communications.  They will be gone in a few days. For many people the summer of 2020 has been difficult to bear because travel is more or less forbidden.  If you are feeling sad about this, the reason is that leisure travel is a pleasurable activity that releases dopamine in our brains – a feel-good hormone. However, there are ways of triggering a little wave of dopamine related to travel, and you don’t have to go far to do it. Look up at the sky. Look so high that your peripheral vision can no longer see your surroundings. Now focus on the […]

You KNOW you are on the right path when…

Posted Posted in Coaching, Resilience

In last week’s Resilience Guide newsletter I wrote about time management and gave subscribers a tool to help you start assessing where your time is spent.  The topic was chosen because it was one of the most requested in our recent survey.  (The tool was exclusive to subscribers – sign up to newsletters if you don’t want to miss any others!) This week’s topic is the other most requested issue – Confidence. Without asking each respondent individually, I assume this meant that people are feeling fear and want to overcome it because it stops them achieving what they want. The most powerful tip I can give you is this: Fear is a sign you are doing the right thing.  Think about what causes your fear.  Whether it’s approaching a boss to request a pay rise, or launching a new business or putting a video out on social media about your […]

When the wall seems too high

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

“Just when you think you’re on a roll…” “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…” “The Universe had different ideas…” These are all expressions that demonstrate how frequently we face challenges and obstacles in life. Sometimes the obstacles we face seem insurmountable. The wall seems too high. We can’t see over it or through it and it’s causing a hard stop in our journey. Here are a few things to consider about those walls: Two stacked bricks will seem like a wall when we are tired. ‘What we pay attention to expands’ – John Maxwell. Staring at the wall makes it bigger than it is. All the time we are staring at the wall, we are missing what’s going on elsewhere. Every wall ends. The Wall of China, the Berlin Wall, the wall on the Mexican-US border; every one of them has end points and ‘loopholes’ in […]

RSVP – Noooo! But what will I say?

Posted Posted in Coaching, Resilience

Everyone’s out and about again, but you’re not ready? You may be still worried about your own health or the health of someone close to you.  You may be conscious that the virus is still out there, albeit in smaller numbers for now. I believe everyone has the right to make their own risk assessment.  I also believe you don’t have to go into great personal detail to persuade others to come around to your way of thinking.  They don’t have to agree with you.  They just need to know what your decision is and respect it. It can be difficult to know what to say when you get that invitation to the big family gathering where everyone is expecting you to turn up as per-pre-Covid-usual. So, here’s what to do. Consider the implications of increased contact. Reflect on what YOU want, the risk you are willing to take and […]

The Fog of Familiarity

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

I saw this picture and thought, ‘What a beautiful place to live!’. Then I wondered if the people who live there appreciate how pretty it is. Would they look at where I live and wistfully think the same thing?! Familiarity sometimes becomes a fog that prevents us from seeing what’s right in front of us.  When is the last time you looked at your home and surroundings with fresh eyes?  Can you think back to a time, years ago, when you day-dreamed about what your future home would look like, and wondered how on earth to make it a reality? Suddenly, having to clean and maintain it doesn’t seem such a chore any more, does it? This is a simple but powerful switch in mindset that helps us to feel more gratitude, more in control, more resilient and ultimately much happier. It even makes the ironing easier for me!  I […]

When a request feels uncomfortable

Posted Posted in Business Coaching, Coaching, Resilience

Have you been asked to do something that doesn’t feel quite right?  Maybe you can’t see the path ahead clearly?  Maybe your gut instinct is saying no, but you can’t find the right words to articulate that and explain yourself. Here’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card: You don’t need to see a path forward for everything straight away. It’s often not possible.  When you can, park a decision that feels uncomfortable, and certainly park having to give any explanation until you are ready. Reflect first.  And then take action. Reflection is good to a point.  It is crucial to give your mind time to process a tricky situation, to allow any stress hormones to dissipate (a process that takes up to 26 hours), and to allow first reactions to clear away and create the space for deciding your response. However, assuming the situation hasn’t resolved itself in the […]