Switching ‘Set Mind’ to +Mindset

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

Do you find it difficult sometimes to maintain a positive mindset? Does it seem a bit fluffy, as if it’s something lucky people have, because – well, why wouldn’t they have a positive mindset?!  Everything is going well for them! Aside from the undeniable research in neuroscience about the universal benefits of maintaining a calm and positive outlook more often than we are inclined to, it’s a journey we each must take alone.  But it’s a journey each of us is more than capable of, if we Set our Mind to it. The fact is, no-one else can change our thoughts unless we allow them to. Yes, we are of course alive and breathing so we have instant and human reactions to what people say or situations we find ourselves in.  But those natural reactions only last a short time.  If we allow their narrative to embed in our mind, and if we re-enforce it by […]

‘Extra’ help

Posted Posted in Coaching, Parenting, Resilience

It’s commonly known that introverts regain their energy by being alone after a social activity.  They need quiet time to recharge.  Being with lots of people, in lots of noise, for long periods of time, makes them exhausted.  It’s not about being ‘unsociable’ – they are very sociable people – they just prefer it to be on a one-to-one basis! Extraverts, on the other hand, can’t get enough company and activity.  They need to be with a variety of groups regularly. Being on their own too much makes their mood sink low. This is why lockdown is a challenge in different ways for different people.  For introverts it’s more or less business as usual, or life as they think they would like it to be; except it might be too much isolation which is not good ultimately.  We all need the company of other humans, whether it’s in groups or […]

One candle lights many others

Posted Posted in Uncategorized

You may know that I am a member of BNI – a global business networking and referral organisation.  My chapter is the Rossmore Chapter, normally ‘stationed’ in the Hillgrove Hotel in Monaghan but online for now of course.  My fellow chapter members play a huge role in what I can safely call my resilient business mindset.  Positivity is the name of the game at weekly meetings.  It’s a culture that is fostered from the top down in the organisation, in every country, by everyone involved. (Side note, if you’d like to visit, it’s free, just let me know!) This week, Beth Misner, the wife of the founder of BNI, Ivan Misner, very sadly and quite suddenly passed away from cancer.  I never met her but by all accounts her positive nature shone brightly and all who met her bathed in that glow and was the better of it. She wrote […]

I was tempted, but I didn’t!

Posted Posted in Uncategorized

On Wednesday 14.10.20 I spoke at the first online National Women’s Enterprise Day. It was more difficult for me than the breezy line above might suggest. Public speaking is waaayyy out of my comfort zone, as it is for the vast  majority of people. Ironically, and brilliantly, my topic was how to silence the inner critic.  How apt, because I had to use all the techniques I was teaching, over and over again in the run up to the event.  Which I’m grateful for actually, because it keeps me in touch with what others are feeling so I really do speak from experience. I was in the virtual green room a.k.a. Live Stage 2, and just before I came on air the technicians popped the main stage on my screen so I could see what everyone was seeing.  My heart was absolutely pounding.  I was sucking in air in deep […]

10 days into dream job, I quit

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

10 days after I started my dream job as a newly qualified midwife, I handed in my notice. I had dreamed of being a midwife for years.  Qualifying was a monumentally proud moment for me, not to mention the moments I was privileged to be see the arrival of many beautiful little humans (including 5 sets of twins) into the loving care of their parents. So why did I quit? At the time, I told myself it was a result of the distress of watching my patient, a 5 day old baby girl, have her ventilator switched off about a month earlier.  It was certainly a huge factor.  But knowing what I know now, I can see that there was a loud inner critic that I gave too much credibility to.  I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough. My irrational fear was made rational on the day before I […]

Unleash your Power at Interviews

Posted Posted in Business Coaching, Coaching, Resilience

Little did we know that ‘pivot’ would be one of the most used words of 2020.  Businesses have had to recalculate long-established income streams and revise processes overnight.  Employees have had to adjust their working practices.  All of us have had to completely rethink most elements of our lives: social, personal, working, financial, education, child-care, family gatherings, community events, sport, networking, travel and the work/life juggle. As businesses close and new opportunities emerge, I have no doubt workforce planners will look back at this time as being one of huge movement of people in the labour market. People who have never had to rethink their career or do job interviews are now faced with this challenge.  Pilots, educators, sales people, those in the hospitality industry and many others are now re-doing CVs and going through the arduous process of interviews. This week I gave a talk on Resilience to a […]

Conflict – did you bring your compass?

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

Is there anything more heart-sinking or gut-wrenching than being in a conflict situation or conversation?  Most of us would do anything to avoid it.  But it’s unavoidable at times.  That’s life.  People don’t always agree with us or what we have done. Sometimes we can sense an impending conflict before anyone has spoken a word because we know we have to say something that won’t be appreciated. Sometimes we ‘know’ the response we will get.  Occasionally our worst fears come true.  Other times we are pleasantly surprised when the other person reacts in a more reasonable manner than we expected. In my recent survey of subscribers to my weekly Resilience Guide newsletter, Conflict Management was the 3rd most requested topic.  It was tied with other topics, but in 3rd place nonetheless. When I am coaching someone who dreads it or avoids it (sometimes at greater cost to themselves than if […]

Credit (the good kind)

Posted Posted in Coaching, Online Training, Resilience

Every time I deliver a resilience training session I encourage an exploration of what resilience means to attendees.  I’m always amazed to hear new perspectives from every group. This week’s training session was no different.  Participants broke it down to different kinds of resilience including frontline staff who come home from a tough day and have to quickly turn around a few hours later and go back in to face more.  I was picturing an airplane being ‘turned around’ between flights and the pressure to do it quickly and get back in the air.  Except of course frontline staff have more to ‘turn around’. Another kind of resilience mentioned was financial resilience, for example when someone wealthy loses all their assets, but is able to build it back up again.  That’s an extreme example, but financial resilience is probably something we don’t credit ourselves enough with. A conversation I had […]

The joy of travel, while staying safe

Posted Posted in Awakening, Coaching, Resilience

The season is turning, for sure.  There has been a crispness in the air for the last few days.  Some brown leaves fell in front of me this week.  The swallows are preparing for their long journey ahead, stretching their muscles, swooping up and down and practising their chirping communications.  They will be gone in a few days. For many people the summer of 2020 has been difficult to bear because travel is more or less forbidden.  If you are feeling sad about this, the reason is that leisure travel is a pleasurable activity that releases dopamine in our brains – a feel-good hormone. However, there are ways of triggering a little wave of dopamine related to travel, and you don’t have to go far to do it. Look up at the sky. Look so high that your peripheral vision can no longer see your surroundings. Now focus on the […]

You KNOW you are on the right path when…

Posted Posted in Coaching, Resilience

In last week’s Resilience Guide newsletter I wrote about time management and gave subscribers a tool to help you start assessing where your time is spent.  The topic was chosen because it was one of the most requested in our recent survey.  (The tool was exclusive to subscribers – sign up to newsletters if you don’t want to miss any others!) This week’s topic is the other most requested issue – Confidence. Without asking each respondent individually, I assume this meant that people are feeling fear and want to overcome it because it stops them achieving what they want. The most powerful tip I can give you is this: Fear is a sign you are doing the right thing.  Think about what causes your fear.  Whether it’s approaching a boss to request a pay rise, or launching a new business or putting a video out on social media about your […]